


Remember Your Purpose

by samdrake



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Blood, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, I don't know how to tag this, Murder, Schizophrenia, seeing/hearing people who aren't there, very triggering please do not read if you think this will trigger you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 08:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16404719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samdrake/pseuds/samdrake
Summary: Following the ‘walk away’ ending after the final encounter with Joseph, The Deputy has fully given in to Jacob’s conditioning after a poorly timed ‘Only You’ plays on the radio. Now all of her friends are dead, and the only person who can help her and guide her is buried six feet under in the Whitetail Mountains.





	Remember Your Purpose

You couldn’t tell if you were crying over the blood caked on your face that wasn’t even yours. You shouldn’t be crying. You definitely shouldn’t be crying. Your friends are dead and this is completely your fault, and you knew you had no right to be crying but here you were, sitting on the side of the road as flames engulfed a car with your friend’s bodies inside of it, crying.

All you could think about, as you pictured murdering your friends in cold blood, was that they were weak. You managed to kill three trained sheriffs in close quarters without any struggle. Jacob wouldn’t stand for such weakness in his militia. You wondered if he would be proud of you. You wondered what he would say if he were here, if you hadn’t killed him on top of a mountain weeks prior. But that, however, was your fault as well. You killed Jacob without a second thought and now, as you watched the flames spread higher and further, the heat tickling at your skin, you couldn’t help but think about him.

“I knew I was right about you, you know,” a familiar voice sang from beside you. You looked up to see Jacob, staring ahead at the crash with a devious smile planted across his face. “What’d I say, huh? You’re not just a soldier, Deputy, you’re a warrior.”

_No fucking way_. You knew you were crazy for thinking about Jacob after what you’ve done, but this was borderline mental. You looked away from him and continued to watch the fire spread. “You’re not real. You’re dead.”

“What’s with the pouting, Dep? Huh?” he knelt down to your height, setting an approving hand on your shoulder. “Good work. You did it. You passed your test. You made your sacrifice. I am so proud of you.”

You looked at his hand on your shoulder. You couldn’t feel it. You saw his fingers laying down on your jacket, but his touch wasn’t there. That’s how you knew you had officially lost your god damn mind.

You shoved his hand off of you and stood up slowly as Jacob disappeared entirely. Every bone in your body felt like it had been crushed after the car crashed. But you knew you had to keep going. If you were found next to three Hope County sheriffs, you’d be shot by a Resistance member. If a Peggie found you, you’d be shot just for being the Deputy. You knew you had to go, even if you had nowhere  _to_  go.

You knew Jacob was behind you as you walked, watching you. You knew that because a sudden rush of coldness fell over you. “Stop following me.”

“Sweetheart, if I’m following you, it’s because you want me to follow you,” he teased. “I’m not real, Deputy. Surely you remember  _killing_  me?”

“Yeah, I remember vividly,” you mumbled to yourself. You remember his death all too well. Following him up to the mountain. Putting a round of bullets in his chest. His last words before he died at your hands. It made you want to vomit.

You could hear Judges howling in the distance. It wasn’t often you found Jacob’s Judges at Joseph’s compound, which led you to believe you were imagining that too.

“You hear that? The wolves are all around you.”

“You made me kill my friends,” you trudged along the path, crossing your arms at your chest and shoving your hands underneath your jacket for warmth. 

“Your friends were weak. Whitehorse was ready to pack and run from the minute you both stepped in that church on day one, Ms, Joey Hudson was smart but didn’t think with her head, and Peaches? Even _I_ couldn’t make him strong,” Jacob testified. “You did them a favor. If you weren’t going to kill them, Joseph would’ve if you all would’ve come back to kill him. He’d make them suffer. You had the decency to kill them quickly and without pain.”

You didn’t say anything. He was right about all of it and you hated yourself for agreeing with him. You were giving into him. Before tonight, you didn’t even think about Jacob. He was a problem and you handled it. He made you kill Eli so you returned the favor by killing Jacob himself. You killed his siblings next and never thought about him again. Now, he’s the only thing you can think about. You wanted his approval and you craved it even more once you got it. You wanted his guidance. You wanted him to be your master and to train you, and you hated yourself for killing the only person who can help you. You hated yourself even more for feeling this way.

“I told you this before, Deputy. Everyone you try to help winds up worse off. You killed Eli, leaving the Whitetails without a leader. Now half of the Hope County Sheriff’s Department is dead, all thanks to you. Tragedy just follows you. I told you, you’d have been better off just off’ing yourself. Safer for everyone that way.”

“Shut up!” you snapped, turning around and firing your gun at him. He disappeared and your bullet ripped through the thin air. You stopped and bent, panting now as you tried to collect yourself. But you knew you had to keep walking. You straightened up and started walking again.

“It didn’t have to happen this way, you know,” he was walking on the opposite side of the road. “I gave you a choice. I told you to accept your place in my army. I told you I would make you strong as long as you stopped fighting and came home to me. But you were stubborn weren’t you? You never listened to orders like a real soldier. You played games like a god damn child, and look where it got you.”

“You made me kill innocent people, you made me kill my friends. Is that what you call being a  _soldier_?”

“You killed and it made you  _stronger_. Look at you. You walked out of a car crash without a scratch on you. You killed three armed officials with your bare hands, and not a single drop of blood on your skin is yours. Now tell me you don’t feel  _so fucking alive,_ Deputy _.”_

You didn’t. You didn’t feel dead but you sure as hell didn’t feel alive. Because this,  _whatever the hell this is_ , is not what it feels like to be alive.

The sign you passed on the road indicated that you were in the Whitetail Mountains now. Perfect, just fucking perfect.

“Look at you, you even managed to find your way back home all on your own, “ you weren’t looking at him, but you could recognize his devious smirk at any time, “You never cease to amaze me, Dep.”

“Hey, you said I’m only seeing you because I want to see you, right?” you stopped and stared up at him. “Well, I don’t want to see you anymore. Now fuck off.”

And just like that, he was gone. You knew it wouldn’t last. You would think about him again (hell, you already were) and he’d pop right back up. You tried to enjoy these few moments of silence before you’d see him again.

You continued trudging on the side of the road. Not a single car passed by nor could a gunshot be heard, the sudden quietness of Hope County arising your suspicions. You wondered if someone heard about what happened in Joseph’s compound. News tends to spread quickly in Hope County.

You were wondering if somebody found out that you killed Whitehorse, Hudson, and Pratt and is already on their way to kill you now. You wondered if Joseph knows what you did. He had to know, it happened in his compound which is considerably small with large fences that talk. You didn’t even want to know what he thought about that.

As you continued to walk, your feet aching with every step you took, you approached a house surrounded by a sea of trees. It was dimly lit with a fluorescent yellow light and a dying firepit in the backyard. A flag with the Resistance logo was waving in the air attached to the house.

“There could be some useful things in there, Deputy,” Jacob guessed, standing next to you again. “They’re Resistance. They probably have some food and clothing. I bet it’s a lot warmer surrounded by four walls, too.”

“That’s somebody’s home,” you said. “I’m not going in.”

“Go in anyways.”

That was all you needed to hear before you were walking towards the house. Now you’re taking orders from a dead man. Yep, you aren’t just borderline crazy anymore, you’re batshit, bonafide insane for sure.

As you walked up the steps to the porch, Jacob was leaning against the wall next to the door. “Sounds like there are two people in there. A man and a woman. You think you can take ‘em?”

“I’m not going to hurt them. I just need some food and supplies, like you said.”

“We’ll see about that. Open the door.”

You opened the door like you were opening the door to your own home. Of course they didn’t have their door locked.

Jacob was right. A man and a woman were sitting on the couch, their rifles resting on the table across from them as they held each other in their arms, watching a movie together on their tv. They snapped their heads at you when they heard the door swing open.

“Deputy? What are you doing here?” the man asked.

“Kill them.”

You raised your gun and put a bullet right through their brains. Jacob grinned and watched with pride.

Crying again - no,  _sobbing_  - you threw your gun on the floor and screamed. This brings your kill count of the day up to five. You’ve killed more in a day, but you’ve only ever killed bad people trying to kill you first. The ones you killed tonight were good people. These were people that looked up to you. And you killed them in cold blood.

“Good. Cull the herd.”

“This isn’t real,” you shook your head at him. You were hoping this was all just a dream. A bliss infused dream. Jacob wasn’t real, you knew that, so maybe killing your friends and killing this Resistance couple was just your mind playing with you. You wanted this to be in your head. Sure, you’d be crazy, but at least you wouldn’t have killed your friends. “This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t… oh god.”

“Honey,” Jacob waltzed toward the dead couple, motioning his had toward them as if you weren’t already looking at them. “This is about as real-life as it gets. Cold blooded murder? It doesn’t get much more real than that.”

“Y…you, why are you making me do this?”

“How many times do I have to tell you, Deputy? I’m dead. I’m not making you do anything that you don’t already want to do.”

You didn’t want to kill your friends. You didn’t want Jacob tormenting you from beyond the grave. You didn’t ask for any of this. Jacob managed to twist and torture your mind with one poorly timed song from the 70′s to turn you into his personal assassin and he isn’t even alive to do it. You knew he was powerful, but this? This was more than power. Jacob is playing God.

“What are you doing standing around, Deputy? You’ve got work to do. Get yourself cleaned up and grab their supplies. I don’t think they’ll be needing them anymore.”

Again, listening to him without hesitation, you ran into their bedroom in search for clean clothing. You grabbed a blanket off of their bed and wiped the blood off of your face and arms. You got undressed and grabbed the first clothes you could find - a pair of men’s green pants and a red plaid shirt.

“You’re going out dressed like that?” Jacob snarled, leaning up against the doorway as he watched you get dressed and undressed. “Normally I like my militia properly dressed, but you, I’d like to see with a little less clothing.”

“Bite me.”

“Hey, remember-”

“Yeah yeah, I only hear what I want to hear. You’re not real, blah blah blah… hey Jacob, what’s it gonna take for the ‘in-head’ version of you to die, too?”

“You don’t wanna kill me, sweetheart. Not again. You already regret killing me in the first place.”

“Yeah?” you cocked an eyebrow at him. “Is that so?”

“Of course it is. Have you looked at yourself, Dep?” he stepped towards you until he was inches from you. “You’re a mess. You’d be lost without me right now. You’re lost without the  _real_ me. I’m giving you guidance. I’m giving you a purpose. This is what I’ve wanted from the moment I’ve met you. Let me help you. Let me make you whole again, Deputy.”

“I don’t want anything from you,” you snapped back at him. “I just want you to crawl back into hell and stay far away from me.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not the only one in hell. Now go. Grab a bag and get some supplies. Get some guns. There’s somewhere I wanna take you.”

“Where do you wanna take me, Jacob?”

Jacob grinned at that. “You’ll see. Now hurry up.  _I’ll be outside waiting_   _for you_.”

You blinked and he was gone. You hurried and did what he told you to do. You found a duffel bag in the corner of the bedroom and filled it with medkits and medicine from their restroom. You grabbed their rifles on the table next to their bodies, careful not to look at what you’ve done. You found some other useful things on the table in the kitchen - some throwing knives, a couple of grenades, and some rifle ammo. You found car keys on the table as well. You figured that wherever Jacob wanted to take you, it wasn’t next door.

You walked outside and he wasn’t there, but a dirty red truck was. You threw your bag in the back seat and then hopped up front, where Jacob appeared in the passenger seat.

“Where are we going?”

Jacob watched you for a moment and then stared straight ahead. “Just drive. You’ll know where to go.”

So you drove. You didn’t know where you were going, you were letting the road take you where you thought you needed to go. Jacob was gone again, but you could hear his voice.

“Only you, Deputy. It was always only ever you.”

His voice was pounding in your head and it was giving you a damn migraine.

“ _Only you could make this world seem right… Only you can make the darkness bright…_ ”

His voice was saying a hundred different things at once.

“You are meat.”

“You’re just a tool without a master.”

“We are on the brink.”

“I will make you strong.”

You didn’t shut the voices out. It was useless to even try. You couldn’t get him out of your head no matter what you did. You continued to drive. You finally realized where Jacob wanted to you to go when you were suddenly parked in front of the St. Francis Veteran’s Center.

The voices finally silenced. You got out of the truck and grabbed your duffel. As you approached the gate, the two soldiers guarding the front raised their guns as you.

“Sinner! Step back!”

“Shit, that’s the Deputy! She fucking killed Jacob!”

You raised your hands in the air in good faith, continuing to walk towards the men. With one finger, you lowered each of their guns respectively. They stared at you in shock. You smiled at both of them.

“The Whitetails are hiding in the mountains southwest of here, east of the PIN-K0 Radar Station,” you told them, walking between and away from them. “You know what to do.”

You told the Peggies where the Whitetails are hiding and you didn’t even blink as you did it. All you could think about was how Jacob would be so proud of you.

As you walked, you earned many confused and disapproving glances from Peggies. You didn’t care. They would accept you soon enough. You made your way up the stairs until you reached what had to be Jacob’s office, filled with maps, surveillance, and photos of you, Eli, Tammy, and other Whitetail members. You walked towards a picture hanging of you on the wall next to a map of Hope County. On a note written next to your picture in sloppy handwriting, it read:

_Deputy’s third trial is now complete._

_Won’t be long now before she realizes her purpose._

_With her as my right hand, she will crush the Whitetail with one blow._

_This is the will of The Father._

He had no idea how right he was.

You walked towards the center of the room towards his desk, your hands gripping the sides of the table. You felt Jacob come up behind you, standing to your left over your shoulder as he ran his fingers down your side.

“Only you, Deputy, only you,” he said. “I told you - you’re a warrior. Now make me proud.”

He was gone again and you knew he wasn’t coming back, and that was okay with you. You didn’t need him anymore. He guided you to where you needed to be and you were finally here. Just like that, the Whitetail Mountains were in the palm of your hands.

You’ve truly never felt more alive.


End file.
